Tequila
by mariposa510
Summary: Elizabeth gets a letter from Earth, and John learns something new about his fearless leader. Rated T to be safe because of alcohol, a tiny bit of language, and slightly suggestive themes but only slightly.


A/N: I swore I'd never do a SongFic, but this little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone until I'd written it down! Don't know if anyone's familiar with this song, but I'm from the Southeaster US, and I grew up with country music. Hope it brings you a little chuckle. :-) Oh yeah, and I don't get paid for this and don't own the characters, etc. I hate disclaimers.

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"Mail call!" John Sheppard poked his head in Elizabeth's office doorway and held up a stack of envelopes. She smiled brightly and motioned him inside.

"I took the liberty of picking up your mail while I was down at the Daedalus, meeting the new recruits…I'd read this one first. It definitely looks interesting."

At the quizzical tilt of Elizabeth's head, John handed her a plain brown envelope that was bulging slightly in the middle.

Elizabeth glanced at the envelope, and a huge grin broke out on her face. Written on the front, around the address in large cursive letters were the words: _OPEN NOW! (And by "now," I don't mean set this on the side of your desk and come back to it when you've finished your work…or Solitaire.)_ Elizabeth shook her head, laughing lightly, and set about opening the envelope.

Suddenly realizing that John was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and bemused expression, she tried to explain.

"It's from my friend Maria. We were roommates all through undergraduate school, and we've kept in touch ever since." Gesturing at the writing on the envelope, she said, "Maria's a little bit on the crazy side, but she probably knows me better than anyone…"

At this point, the last corner of the envelope seal gave way, and a small USB flash drive fell to the desk. Elizabeth glanced at it before reaching for the short note inside.

John, unable to quell his curiosity any longer, walked around behind her to get a better view of the note.

_Liz,_

_I heard this song the other day and thought of you. Sometimes I miss the old days when grades and making it to class on time were our biggest problems. Hope this bit of nostalgia brings a smile to your face and a tear to your eye, like it did for me. Does it remind you of anyone?_

_Maria_

Elizabeth smiled wistfully as she glanced at the note again, before reaching for the flash drive. She missed Maria very much. Her first (and favorite) roommate had always been able to make her laugh. She wondered what song could have managed to send her cheerful and carefree friend into such a sentimental mood.

She briefly considered asking John to leave so she could listen to the song privately, and it was clear from his body language that the thought had crossed his mind as well.

But just as Maria was her best friend on Earth, Elizabeth considered John to be her closest friend here on Atlantis; in fact, the two shared several traits. Elizabeth smiled gently at John as she opened the file, and he relaxed, taking a seat on the edge of her desk.

A twangy country melody burst from the speakers, and Elizabeth grinned. Maria, being from the Southern United States, had always had a penchant for country music. Elizabeth's thoughts returned to the song as the first verse began.

_She said I'm goin' out with my girlfriends,  
__Margaritas at the Holiday Inn.  
__Oh have mercy, my only thought  
__Was tequila makes her clothes fall off._

Elizabeth's jaw dropped, and she glanced quickly at John, who appeared to still be listening to the lyrics. Of all the things she might have expected, this was _not_ one of them!

_I told her put an extra layer on.  
__I know what happens when she drinks Patron.  
__Her closet's missin' half the things she bought.  
__Yeah, tequila makes her clothes fall off._

A slow smirk was now forming on John's face, and Elizabeth felt a blush rising on her cheeks as the song moved into the chorus.

_She'll start by kickin' outta her shoes,  
__Lose an earring in her drink,  
__Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall,  
__Drop a contact down the sink._

The rational part of Elizabeth's brain was screaming at her to turn the damned song _off_, but she seemed to be frozen in her chair with one hand hovering over the keyboard and her mouth hanging open in shock.

_Them pantyhose ain't gonna last too long,  
__If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on.  
__She might come home in a tablecloth.  
__Yeah, tequila makes her clothes fall off._

Elizabeth blushed furiously at this last verse, and she hastily glanced at John to see if he had noticed. Meanwhile, the chorus played on in the background.

He had definitely noticed. That smirk had turned into a full-blown grin, and there was a mischievous glint in his eye that Elizabeth didn't like at_ all_.

Maria was a dead woman as soon as Elizabeth got back to Earth.

_She can handle any champagne brunch,  
__A bridal shower with Bacardi punch,  
__Jello shooters full of Smirnoff,  
__But tequila makes her clothes fall off._

As the embarrassing chorus started up once more, Elizabeth finally regained control of her body. She quickly pressed the "stop" button and sat there for a moment trying to process what had just happened.

Finally gathering her courage, and making a valiant attempt to force her blush back down, Elizabeth turned her head toward John. She grimaced as she caught sight of him perched on the edge of her desk and grinning like a maniac. She braced herself for whatever was coming next.

Amazingly, John suddenly cleared his throat and attempted to shift his expression into something more neutral. "So…" he began and then trailed off.

Elizabeth relaxed slightly and leaned back in her chair, grateful that the man notorious for teasing her mercilessly had apparently decided to let this one go. Another moment passed without a word, and it was John who finally broke the silence.

"…A tablecloth, huh?..."

Elizabeth's head shot back up.

The smirk was back. Damn him.

Her cheeks flared with embarrassment once again, but she was saved from answering by a call for Sheppard over the radio. McKay needed his grinning guinea pig.

Elizabeth glared at him as he stood and walked toward the door, that stupid smirk back in place.

Just as he cleared the doorway, he turned and poked his head back inside.

"Margaritas after work, _Liz_?"

Seconds later, a notepad flew through the space John's head had just vacated.

Elizabeth let her head drop into her hands and resisted the urge to groan when she heard footsteps approaching her office once again.

Without lifting her head, she peeked out through her fingers, fully expecting to come face-to-face with that damned smirk again.

Instead, her mouth fell open in shock for the second time that day; this time it was due to the slender woman leaning against her doorframe and managing to look both amused and slightly chagrined at the same time. After a pause, the woman spoke.

"You know…if I'd known Colonel Sheppard really _was_ as hot as you said he was, I would've sent the song to _him_ first!"

Dr. Maria Rodgers laughed out loud as she dodged the flying notebook that was launched at her head. Atlantis was going to be fun!


End file.
